Visakha

1) Airport sounds

Yes, you did read it correctly. First of all, what are “airport sounds?” and more importantly, who in the world would want to hear them? You could still laugh this one off if it wasn’t for the description-“This app contains a set of various sounds which are sure to entertain you. Play them with friends and family anywhere. Play them at the dinner table or at a park. You are sure to get smiles every time.”Oh yeah, definitely need this app.

2) Cry translator

This app is not only one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard of but they expect us to pay $25 dollars for it? Apparently this app can “translate” cries. You’re supposed to hold up your phone to your baby when he/she is crying and the app tells you the reason: hungry, tired, needs a diaper change etc. It gets better. It also gives “suggestions” as to what you’re supposed to do in each case. I’m sorry but if you need to get your own baby’s cries translated then you’re going to need a lot more than $25 and a phone.

3) Cow toss

The rules of this “game” (if you can call it that) are very simple. You flick the image of a cow with your finger to send it flying through space, mooing and bouncing all the way. And no, there’s so scoring. All you do is watch it fly around.

4) I Am Rich

This app is priced at $999.99 (no it’s not a joke). For the mentioned cost, a red jewel pulsates on your iPhone screen, thus shouting out to everybody that you have a thousand dollars to throw away.

5) Taxi Hold’Em

This app is reportedly designed for those tourists who are either scared or too lazy to raise their own arm out to hail a cab. When you tilt your iPhone horizontally, it flashes the word “TAXI” in big bold letters on your screen. As if that weren’t enough, it can even whistle for you! One reviewer suggested that if you’re going to wave it around the streets, it should really be flashing “STEAL ME”.

6) Hang time

Hang time measures how high you can toss your iPhone. That’s right, you toss your phone up in the air and the app lets you know how far it goes and how long it takes to come crashing down. The cost? $0.99 + the cost of a new iPhone when yours inevitably shatters on the ground.

7) Girls Night Out Solitaire

This blackberry app is an embarrassment to girls everywhere. Sponsored by CoverGirl cosmetics, with the help of this app you can now add girly touches like suits that resemble martini glasses or high heels and virtual girlfriend avatars to various solitaire games. The real question here is: Why would anyone pay $5 to have silly cartoon “girlfriends” commenting on their game play?

8) Bright Smile

There is absolutely nothing wrong with using technology to improve healthcare. However, are you really that unsure about your own dental hygiene habits to pay $5 for an app when all it does is give advice on how to take care of your teeth? This blackberry app provides you with brushing techniques and a customizable timer in case you haven’t yet figured out how long you’re supposed to brush for. It also takes up half a megabyte of memory.

9) Massage therapy

The best thing you can say about this app is that it doesn’t take up much storage space. Why you would want it to take up even that much is another question altogether. Like most cell phones, Blackberry handhelds can vibrate to alert you to incoming calls or messages. The people at LinkTwo tried to take this idea one step further and charge us $3 in the process. The app actually isn’t much at all, as you can see from the picture. It has a few settings to moderate the vibration of your phone.

10) Ah-ha tool for men

This one is for all the nerds out there who find it hard to remember simple dates such as your girlfriend’s birthday and your anniversary. What makes this app even more ridiculous is that it asks for the first day of your girlfriend’s menstrual cycle on creating her profile. Apparently, this is done to give the guy a heads up on what his girlfriend’s emotional state maybe. It also gives you “tips” on how you should behave. Fancy being treated like a dog by your own phone? Then this is the app for you.